Those That Were Deserted
by FieldsOfButterflies
Summary: Kagome's wish upon the Shikon no Tama ended in disaster and despite Naraku's defeat, she has lost everything. The only thing Sesshomaru has ever cared about is fading quickly from the mortal realm. Can the pair help each other cope with the inevitability of loss, or will their separate tribulations push them even further apart? Rated M for violence coarse language and adult themes
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Notes: First new story in awhile. It's a little angsty, but I hope you enjoy it all the same!**_

* * *

The Shikon no Tama, the Jewel of Four Souls, the most hateful trinket to exist since the beginning of mankind; it was no wonder that the responsibility had fallen right into her lap. Of course it would be her burden, that purplish pink gem that brought happiness to no one, that devastated so many lives, that brought nothing but ruin for all who possessed it and nearly destroyed the life of the one who had finally eradicated the cursed object from all of existence. From the first deceptively cheerful day that she stepped foot into the Feudal Era, Kagome Higurashi always found that she was holding the short end of the stick, and now she found that she did not even have a stick to hold onto.

She never used to think of her life in that way. She used to be so optimistic, so happy and vivacious. She had thought herself special being chosen to travel into the past to save the world. She had thought that she was lucky to have this incredible experience that no one but herself would ever encounter. It was like she was in a fairytale, a dream come true. But in the end, it had turned out to be a nightmare.

She was no longer that cheery little girl. She wasn't even certain she was a whole person. She was damaged now, possibly beyond repair. Kami, she wished she had never fallen down that loathsome immemorial well. She had thought that Naraku was so evil and everyone's lives would be so much better once he and the Shikon no Tama were scrubbed from the Earth. It was amazing how so incredibly wrong someone could be. That demonic purple bauble practically guaranteed the terrible truth that no one was destined to have a happy ending, with or without Naraku, and it was all because of her. She was even worse than the appalling half demon she and her friends had worked so hard to defeat.

She could remember that day so perfectly in her mind, the day they defeated Naraku. She would never forget the feel of the completed Shikon no Tama, smooth in her hand as she gripped it, washing it with purified energies. She could still hear Inuyasha sobbing broken-heartedly, tearing at the ground where Kikyo, as she clutched the remains of Naraku's writhing form to her body, had descended into the Earth and pulled the evil hanyou into the depths of Hell along with her. Kagome had hurt for him, she loved him, after all, but she finally had the entire Shikon no Tama in her possession. After everything they had been through, she couldn't go to him until she had made a wish, until the jewel disappeared from the world completely. And that was what she wished for, though it had taken her awhile to come to that conclusion. Kami how she wished she could take it all back.

She should have wished for the happiness of all of her friends. The jewel might not have disappeared. She might have been stuck protecting it from power hungry monstrosities for the rest of her life. She might've been unable to be a normal woman and live normal life. But those sacrifices would have meant nothing compared to everything that had been ripped from her after she made that wish, and at least, even if she wasn't, everyone else would have been happy. That would have been enough. That would have been more than she had now.

Her eyes filled with hot, stinging tears as she thought about the months following the jewel's disappearance. The young woman sobbed softly and hugged her knees to her chest tightly, the rough bark of the God Tree biting into her back as she moved. It was almost too painful to dwell on the memories of the past few months.

Inuyasha had become so embittered by the loss Kikyo. He hardly spoke to anyone now. He was never going to forgive himself for failing her a second time. Nor would he ever forgive Kagome for not bringing the deceased priestess back with jewel. Kagome knew that her predecessor did not wish to come back to the world of the living. Dragging Naraku to Hell was Kikyo's final act of redemption, but the hanyou refused to be reasoned. Instead he verbally attacked Kagome when she tried to console him, assailing her with all the reasons she would never good enough for him to love and shattering her fragile heart into pieces.

Her friends tried to comfort her as best as they could, but they had their own troubles. Miroku's wind scar hadn't disappeared with Naraku's defeat. Sango, who was already devastated by the loss of her brother, was barely hanging on by a thread after this discovery. Even after Miroku resigned himself to an early demise, she refused to accept it. She stayed by his side, even though he rejected her romantic endeavors. He had thought he was being kind, but his refusals caused the slayer to become even more unhinged.

In the end, the ill-fated couple's suffering did not last long. Three months after Naraku's defeat, Miroku was pulled into the void in his hand. Sango followed him into the afterlife shortly thereafter. Her inability to cope with the loss of the last member of her family and the man she loved so desperately was too much for her deteriorating mind to bear, and she had taken her own life at the monk's concave gravesite.

It was Shippo who found her body fallen upon her katana when he and Kagome went to pay their respects to the monk. He could smell her blood long before they reached the site and had rushed ahead to investigate. They buried her right there in Miroku's final resting place, the way they would've wanted it, together even after the end. That was the night that Kagome finally decided to disregard her fear of never being able to return to the Feudal Era and attempt a journey home.

It wouldn't have mattered if she couldn't come back now. Inuyasha had only pushed her away, becoming more bitter and cruel with each passing day, if he even spoke to her at all. Sango and Miroku were gone. The only presence in her life that remained steadfast in his love and friendship was Shippo. But it wouldn't be long before he grew into an adult. And while it may have been a matter of years still, once he was grown, he would also leave her to search for a mate to start a family with. Then she would be left alone with Kaede and Kirara, who were both more than capable of fending for themselves. She had nothing to come back to.

So that morning, as she leapt into the well to return to her era, there was no lump in her throat. She hadn't felt any loss or heartache at the idea of never setting foot in the Feudal Era ever again. It wasn't until she hit the bottom of the dried out well that she felt an overwhelming sense of despair. As her abruptly twisted ankle began to swell and throb and the dust that her jump had stirred settled to the ground once again, Kagome had let out a disconsolate wail. The well hadn't worked. She could not go home. She had spent the rest of that day sobbing, mourning the loss of the life she would never return to and the family she would never see again.

It had been a week since that day, and every day since her first attempt to travel back to the present, she had tried to travel back home hoping that something had changed and the portal between time periods had somehow reopened. That was why she now sat underneath the God Tree, rocking herself back and forth as she remembered how her life had fallen into complete and utter ruin, all because she made the wrong wish. She almost laughed aloud at the sudden epiphany as she drew a shuddering breath.

Suddenly she understood why she couldn't return home. The Kami were punishing her. She had destroyed the lives of everyone she cared about. She deserved to suffer. She deserved to be alone. She deserved a fate so much worse than the one that she was getting. Underneath the pale moonlight of the crooked waning crescent hung in the black sky, Kagome let her head drop back into her knees as she let forth another unnerving wail of complete and utter despair.

x.X.x

Until three days ago, Sesshomaru had not set foot in his childhood home since he had finished his advanced combat training with his father. The once palatial estates of Inu no Taisho were now overgrown and in disrepair as they sat abandoned, a ruined memorial of a time long past. He could still remember the beauty and serenity of the castle as if it were yesterday.

He could picture his mother sitting in the lush gardens of the southern courtyard as she observed her mate and their progeny sparring on the sprawling castle grounds. Her purple kimono was always draped elegantly about her spare form as she sat upright, wearing a haughty expression on her proud features. He remembered his father, tall and imposing, yet kind and jovial with an ever-wandering eye. Even then his parents' distaste for one another was apparent.

That was one of the reasons he had never returned to this place. He was not fond of the memories it brought to mind. In fact, if Rin hadn't been in such sore need of proper bedding, Sesshomaru knew he never would have come back.

As he stood by her bedside, the demon lord stooped to brush damp strands away from the young girl's sweat covered brow tenderly as she coughed violently in her sleep. She had never been sick before, and the inuyoukai found it strange that this sudden bout of pneumonia would overtake her usually good health so rapidly. It was only three days ago that he began to smell the sickly-sweet stench of disease on her breath, and already she was wholly incapacitated.

"Jaken," he called softly in his deep monotone to the kappa demon standing in the corridor outside the doorway. Despite his lack of intonation, the imp could detect the worry hidden in his master's voice. "Fetch some cool water and a clean scrap of cloth."

The diminutive youkai bowed and left the room wordlessly. Sesshomaru would never admit it aloud, but Jaken had become incredibly valuable since Rin's illness had developed. Bed rest had been the kappa's idea and, after they had arrived at the abandoned estate, he quickly went about finding an appropriate room for the girl and cleaned the vast accumulation of dust until it was suitable for her use before the inuyoukai could even request anything of him. There had been no whining or complaining, no groveling or squawking, only compliance and duty. The imp was as concerned for the girl as he was.

Sesshomaru was drawn out of his thoughts when Rin moved to lean over her futon, retching and spewing the acidic contents of her empty stomach onto the tatami flooring. Once her petite form was no longer racked by violent heaves, she lay back again, shivering despite the thick covers wrapped about her. Sesshomaru took a seated position on the next to her, opposite the side where the pungent sick still covered the floor. He placed the back of his hand against her forehead. The girl's pallid skin was searing against his flesh. He pulled his hand away as Rin began to cough, and this time, he could smell the coppery scent of blood on her breath.

The inuyoukai's eyes widened, sheer terror reflected behind the gold of his irises for the first time in over a century. Cool water and bed rest was not going to be enough to help the girl. She needed medicine, _human_ medicine, a topic upon which the Lord Sesshomaru was sorely uneducated. Pneumonia was deadly enough, but there was something else, something even more toxic invading the girl's body. For the first time in his life, Sesshomaru found that he desperately needed the aid of a human.


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN: Thank you to those who have shown an interest in my budding story! I appreciate your support! :D**_

* * *

Kagome awoke to orange sunlight filtering through leaf laden branches casting dappled shadows upon the thick tuft of tangled grass on which she lay. She shivered slightly as she shifted and dew covered blades of grass grazed the bare skin of her legs. She watched with mild fascination as goose bumps began to spread like wildfire across the milky white of her pale flesh. For a moment, she sat still, drinking in the peachy pink clouds fading from the morning sky. After a moment, and though it took all her resolve, the miko finally willed herself to return to the quaint, nearby village.

As she trudged through the overgrown foliage of the Forest of Inuyasha, she asked herself why she kept returning. No one would be waiting for her there. Sure, Shippo would be happy to see her, but he had already begun to prepare himself for her absence, just in case the well did work, and she never came back again. If, for some reason, she encountered Inuyasha, he would either ignore or berate her. So why did she keep going back?

"Because I have nowhere else to go," she sighed under her breath in glum resignation. She should just move on, maybe find somewhere to be properly trained as a holy woman. Or maybe she should find a husband and try to have a normal life, not that she had any suitors since Koga had finally mated with Ayame. She smiled half-heartedly at the thought. At least, even without his jewel shards, the wolf got his happy ending. He may have been the only one, but that was something, right?

As she reached the edge of the village, Kagome swallowed back tears as she considered the real reason she had yet to move on. She was punishing herself. This place reminded her of her friends, and how they all, at one point, used to be happy together. It reminded her that she stole it all away from them. She knew that Inuyasha had been the only one who would admit the truth in that statement, but Kagome knew it too. In one day, she had done more damage to those she loved than Naraku had managed to do in nearly fifty-three years. He had only tried to take everything from them; she actually had.

Sometimes Kagome thought about taking a page out of Sango's book and ending all of her suffering and guilt, but that was just too easy. She didn't deserve to die easily. She didn't deserve peace or relief from her misery. For the rest of her life, it was her duty to shoulder the burden of ruining the lives of her loved ones. She would spend the rest of her life working to atone for those grievous sins.

She was drawn from her piteous ponderings by a sudden flash of red before her eyes. The young woman came to an immediate halt before she collided with the half demon now standing before her, his arms folded across his chest haughtily. She lowered her dark eyes to the ground as his scowling amber eyes perused her form with distaste.

"What're you coming back for?" Inuyasha all but snarled, his top lip curled hatefully. Kagome did not grace him with a reply. Instead she sighed shakily, keeping her eyes lowered. "Oh, feeling sorry for yourself now, huh."

Kagome much preferred the days that the hanyou refused to look at her than the days that he was feeling combative. She swallowed the lump in her throat and continued her silence. It didn't ever do any good to say anything.

"Ya know, you're not even half the woman Kikyo was," spat Inuyasha caustically.

"I didn't intend for any of this to happen, Inuyasha," Kagome mumbled, rubbing her arm uncomfortably under the intensity of his scrutiny. "If I could take it all back, I really would."

"You hated Kikyo," he barked heatedly. "You know what I think. I think you thought if she was out of the way, you'd finally have a chance with me. That's what you wanted, wasn't it? You wanted us to be together."

"I did want that, Inuyasha, but not at the cost of your happiness," she pleaded; her eyes flickered up to meet his for a second. "I always wanted for you to be happy, even if it wasn't with me."

"Is that so?" he asked, the venom absent from his voice. His expression had softened. It seemed almost tender as Kagome nodded, her chocolate eyes wide with hope. Then his expression clouded over again, and his scowl had returned even fiercer than before. "Then why didn't you bring her back?!"

"I didn't know…I didn't know that things would turn out this way when I made that wish," Kagome continued desperately. "I never wanted this for you or Miroku or Sango. I thought I was making everything better by wishing the jewel away. I had no idea what it would cost you all.

Inuyasha snorted. "Yeah, you're real sorry trying to run back home to forget about everything that you screwed up."

"Inuyasha, I've lost EVERYTHING I've ever known. My closest friends, people I loved and cared about, because I made a mistake. I made one wrong choice, and I'm paying for it. I will continue to pay for it for the rest of my life. Except for Shippo, you're all I have left, and you want nothing to do with me. Of course I want to go home, but I could never forget what I did to them…and to you. I know I robbed everyone of their chance at happiness."

"But let me guess, it was an accident?" he sneered cruelly. "I knew from the first days I laid eyes on you that you weren't good enough to be her reincarnation. I always knew that we would never be together. I could never love you."

Kagome felt like she had been slapped. His words stung more than any pain she had ever felt in her life. She knew he couldn't mean them, after all the time they had spent fighting side by side against Naraku, after all the times he endangered his own life just to save hers. He was angry and lashing out, trying to hurt her, and it was working. It had been working, for months now.

She understood his grief perfectly. She, too, was overcoming her own losses. In all actuality, Kagome was certain that she was angrier with herself than Inuyasha ever could be. She also knew that it was now more than the loss of Kikyo that he was mourning. He had lost just as much as she had. His friends, the woman he loved, and any remaining innocence that he had left within him, they were all gone now. The same could be said for Kagome. And, in both the eyes of the miko and the hanyou, it was the former who took it all away from the both of them by making one well-intended yet disastrous wish.

Kagome lowered her eyes back to the long strands of grass and the dirty bare feet that stood before her. The hanyou stood there, his dark brows furrowed and his countenance full of bitter rage. She waited there, her expression hidden beneath thick raven bangs, until she heard the rustling of the grass and the feet in question were gone from her sight.

She wondered how long it would be before he came to terms with reality as she sauntered dejectedly into Kaede's hut. She didn't expect him to forgive her. How could he, when she would never be able to forgive herself? But, all his anger and bitterness and hurt raging inside him like the tumultuous sea, she couldn't wait until it subsided, and he could attempt to find contentedness in existence once again. After all the hardships he had endured, Inuyasha deserved at least that.

x.X.x

"Jaken," Sesshomaru murmured so as not to disturb his ward's fitful rest. "She is not recovering from this illness. I think it is time to seek aid elsewhere."

"What do you suggest, milord?" the imp inquired, eyeing the sallow faced girl who was drenched in sweat as she tossed and turned.

"She needs human medicine. Find someone with knowledge of human ailments and bring them here to care for her," he commanded, not bothering to keep the distress from his usually emotionless voice.

"But where will I find such a person?" the toad asked vexingly. Sesshomaru was busy mopping Rin's brow with cool water when he turned his frigid gaze on the kappa.

"I do not care. Take Ah-Un and find help," he snapped quietly through gritted teeth, quickly turning his attention back to the young girl who had begun a brutal coughing fit. The imp squeaked and quickly ran out the door to avoid the wrath of the inuyoukai.

Sesshomaru's nerves were all but shot. If he lost Rin now, he would never get her back. He was certain he had used up all his chances to rescue the little girl from the afterlife. He pushed the girl's jagged bangs out of her eyes as she lay back down, and her head turned towards him.

"My…milord," she muttered feebly, with a weak smile present in the corners of her bloodless lips. Her heavy-lidded, light brown eyes flickered up to his, closing for long periods of time in between blinks.

"Quiet, Rin," he commanded, but the tenderness in his golden eyes betrayed him. She reached a tiny hand towards him, until he took it and gave it a squeeze with all the energy she could muster. "Are you thirsty?"

She nodded slightly and struggled to sit up. Sesshomaru thanked the Kami that his left arm had been regenerated as he helped prop her up with one arm held the small dish of water he had for her in the other. She sipped what she could manage, before the demon lord assisted her in becoming comfortable once again.

As she closed her eyes, he pulled the burgundy covers over her shoulders and tucked her in, before running a clawed hand through his shimmering silver locks anxiously. He hoped that Jaken would return soon with competent help. He would be most displeased if he had to leave Rin's side to find a suitable healer.

x.X.x

Jaken had no idea where to find someone to help with Rin's illness. He knew nothing of humans or their culture. In fact, the only humans he had ever had any contact with, other than Rin herself of course, were those that traveled with Inuyasha. As he rode through the remaining warmth of the early autumn air on the back of the two-headed dragon, Jaken was suddenly overcome by what, to his mind, was a brilliant idea.

The woman that traveled with Inuyasha was a Miko. He had heard tell that the other humans that traveled with the half demon had passed into the afterlife after Naraku's defeat, but the Miko still lived and had been unable to return home. She was probably still in that village with Inuyasha. The woman seemed to have a working knowledge of medicine. She had always been the one who tended to any wounds her traveling companions acquired.

The diminutive green youkai grinned ear to ear as he directed the large beast of burden over the changing foliage beneath them. His Lord would be most pleased. He was certain he could convince the priestess to help Rin. The fool of a woman was so tender-hearted that once she heard Rin had taken ill, it would be a matter of minutes before they were on their way back to Lord Sesshomaru and the pneumonia-stricken Rin. The woman would brew some sort of healing tea or burn some herbs for the girl to inhale and all would be right again.

Convinced that his plan could not fail, Jaken landed Ah-Un right outside the small village inhabited by the young Miko and his Lord's half-brother. After directing the dragon to wait for him there, and drawing himself to his full, yet still unimpressive, height, the kappa demon marched into the village as if he belonged; ignoring the curious looks he was receiving from the befuddled villagers. It wasn't long before he was stopped by a familiar voice.

"What are you doing here?" a young voice demanded from behind the imp. Jaken turned around swiftly to come eye to eye with the also small of stature kitsune.

"I'm here on urgent matters of important business on behalf of the Lord Sesshomaru," the imp replied with an overabundance of self-importance. The fiery haired fox kit snorted. With narrowed eyes, Jaken continued, "I need to speak with your priestess."

"Why?" Shippo insisted in distrust, folding his arms across his chest. Suspicion was etched across his face.

"That doesn't concern you," squawked the kappa demon, his grating voice drawing more attention to the pair. "Take me to see Kagome."

"Fine," the diminutive trickster assented, a sly smile on his face as he quipped, "I guess it's not like you're much of a threat to her anyway, a small demon like you."

"Oh…you…Now just you wait a minute," sputtered Jaken indignantly, stomping his foot. "You're one to talk about being small," he retorted haughtily. "You're no taller than I am!"

"Yeah, but I'm just a kid," Shippo taunted, sticking his tongue out at the imp before bounding off in the direction of Kaede's hut. Jaken had to run just to keep up with the exuberant fox kit. By the time he reached the old priestess's residence, he was out of breath.

For a moment, the kappa hesitated, a sense of trepidation overwhelming him. What, for some reason, if the Miko declined to aid the girl? What would he do then? He took a deep breath before moving to enter the small abode before him. He would never know until he asked, right?


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Thank you to those of you who have been reading and an extra thank you to those of you who have been reviewing!**_

* * *

"Look, Jaken, you don't want my help," Kagome argued with the imp as leaned against the wall of the meager hut she shared with the old priestess, who was clearly eavesdropping on the conversation under the guise of preparing dinner. Jaken paid the old woman no mind.

"And I'm telling you that I do, you stupid woman," the kappa youkai snapped in exasperation. He scrutinized the woman while waiting for her biting retort to his insult, but she said nothing. She just sighed and closed her eyes, and Jaken began to notice that she wasn't the woman quite he remembered.

He used to think that, for a human, she was decent looking, but now she was nothing special. Her raven locks had lost their luster. Her large, chocolate eyes, once expressive and full of light, were now devoid of any sparkle or emotion. The skin underneath those eyes was dark and puffy, like she hadn't slept in months. Even her complexion had dulled; the natural glow of her pale flesh, gone. The now sunken in hollow of her no longer rosy cheeks gave her face a skeletal appearance. Her form was also beginning to look emaciated. Her once well-shaped arms and legs were now scrawny, a maze of blue veins pulsing underneath the thin, paper white skin of her legs. Even her inappropriately short garb appeared dingy and faded.

It was obvious to Jaken that this woman no longer held the joy for life that she once had. There was no lilt in her voice, no expression on her face and no wit in her words. She was nothing of the girl she had been before Naraku's defeat.

"Rin is sick, and she is not recovering at all. Lord Sesshomaru fears for her life," the imp pleaded, his strident voice desperate. "We need a healer familiar with human medicine."

"She has no chance if I try to help her. It's practically a death sentence. Just ask Inuyasha," Kagome maintained dismissively. "Ask a different priestess. Maybe Lady Kaede could help you."

"That broken down old bat?!" Jaken exclaimed in outrage. The woman looked like she could barely hold the utensil she was using to cook her meal. "You yourself look like you're hardly well enough to help take care of a sick child, but an old woman? I don't even think she's capable of climbing on Ah-Un's back to travel back to the Western Estates."

The imp's rude comments were met with a sharp thump on the back of his small green head with a wooden spoon. He yelped and rubbed the throbbing lump starting to grow with a sour expression on his face. He narrowed his yellow eyes at the old woman who met his gaze with an equally acrimonious glare of her own.

"Hold your tongue, toad. This old woman is not as broken down as ye may think," Kaede growled at the toad, before turning her attention to Kagome. "But mayhaps ye should consider lending aid to yon imp. Ye wish to be repentant. Perhaps saving the life of a young girl may start ye on that path."

The old woman knew that Kagome had nothing to repent, but the young miko had not been able to forgive herself for Inuyasha's unhappiness and the demise of the monk and slayer. Kaede knew that, in Kagome's shoes, she would have made the same wish. Inuyasha had already suffered Kikyo's loss once before, and, while the monk's circumstances were tragic, the slayer had made her own choice. None of it should have been the burden of the young woman. But, she was so virtuous, that, in her goodness, the events that had taken place after she destroyed the Shikon no Tama had led her to believe herself despicable.

Of course Inuyasha had not helped with that. The old woman furrowed her eyebrows, a dark expression crossing her face for a moment. She could not believe how selfish and cruel the hanyou had been the past few months. It would do Kagome some good to be away from him and the place that reminded her so much of recent tragedies. While it was doubtful that she would find any comfort or sympathy from Sesshomaru or the imp, she was sure to find some relief from having a task to occupy her despairing mind.

"You're right, Kaede," Kagome replied softly at long last. "I may never be able to right the wrongs of my past, but I can atone for them by helping those in need. It's what Miroku and Sango would've wanted."

"Aye, child," the elder priestess agreed, with an almost imperceptible nod of her head. "Ye would also be honoring the memory of my sister."

"All right, Jaken," the young miko declared, her weary eyes faintly alighted with determination, "I will go with you."

"Thank the heavens," he muttered under his breath, hoping the young woman would be able to cure Rin quickly.

It didn't take the miko long before she had gathered her possessions and bid farewell to both Shippo and Kaede. Jaken found it odd that she did not search Inuyasha out to say goodbye to him as well, but he said nothing about it. Wordlessly, they mounted Ah-Un and departed from everything Kagome had known for the last three months.

x.X.x

Rin was sick again. The noise of her retching and the putrid smell of stomach acid caused Sesshomaru's stomach to turn violently. Willing himself not to gag, he sat behind her, softly rubbing her back as he felt her body convulse. Her illness was progressing much farther than it ever should have. Vomiting was not a common symptom of pneumonia as far the inuyoukai's knowledge went.

For the first time in the entirety of his existence, Sesshomaru felt what he could only describe as gratitude to his half-brother's human mother. It was pneumonia that killed Inuyasha's mother. It was for that reason that Sesshomaru had any knowledge whatsoever of the human ailment. The way Rin coughed and wheezed was the same as Izayoi when she was nearing her final days, but it had taken weeks, not days, for the princess to succumb to her illness. Rin's was advancing so much more rapidly.

As she lay back down, wheezing and gasping for air, Sesshomaru moved to clean her sick from her bedside. It was a task he would usually consider beneath him, but under the circumstances, he decided it was perfectly acceptable for him to clean up after the girl. When he finished with that, he found a clean cloth and rinsed the sweat and any residual sick from her pallid face.

When he was finished and Rin was resting as comfortably as was possible, the demon lord sat and drew a shaky breath. There had been blood in her vomit. There wasn't much, but the coppery scent still lingered in the air, sending his pulse racing and his heart beating violently in panic. He couldn't remember this symptom with Izayoi's illness. It was incredibly worrisome.

He watched the as the girl ran a swollen tongue over her cracked, pale lips. She was becoming increasingly dehydrated, a state that was deadly enough without an ailment goading it along. Jaken needed to hurry. She needed to be treated quickly.

As he sat observing his suffering ward, the usually stoic youkai found himself uncharacteristically fidgety. He could not refrain from tapping his booted foot rapidly upon the tatami flooring, nor could he still his clack claws as he tapped them impatiently against his thigh just inches above his knee.

He could not recall feeling so completely useless. For the life of him, he could not recall any of the treatments Izayoi had received from her healers, and he found himself wishing he had taken more of an interest in the woman's health at the time. He imagined that, from her place in the afterlife, she was watching his torment with immense enjoyment. Leave it to a human woman to be so vindictive, even in the afterlife.

He supposed that, if she was, it was his own fault for despising her as he did. From all accounts, his father's human lover, while feeble like all of humanity, was a very kind and loving woman. If such a thing were true, than instead of enjoying his pain, if she was watching, she was probably agonizing with him.

He almost laughed aloud. His thoughts were now bordering on ridiculous. He was giving the pathetic woman much more contemplation than she deserved. He only wished he had paid more attention to her treatments. Taking an interest in her well-being would not have done him any good then or now.

Now, Sesshomaru could not help but wonder if he was any better than his father. Here he was, losing his composure over a weak human child. But, she wasn't just any human child. Rin was the single most important thing to him in all of creation. He would give up everything for her; the western lands, his title, his demonic powers, even his life.

Rin may be human, but she had made his life so much better. She had made him better. Is that what his father had found in Izayoi? While their relationship was so much different than the one between his father and the human woman, maybe it had its similarities in that aspect. Sesshomaru had always been under the impression that Izayoi had made his father weak, but maybe she had given his life purpose in the way that Rin had given purpose to his own life.

The inuyoukai rose, unable to sit still any longer, and began to pace the length of the room in agitation. Rin's fitful coughing and wheezing was the most heartrending sound ever to pass through Sesshomaru's pointed ears. He growled softly in frustration.

"Jaken needs to hurry," he sighed as he paced, his flowing silver locks trailing behind him like a cape. He hoped the vexing imp would be able to find a human healer willing to assist youkai.

He was starting to wonder if he should have gone in the kappa's place. After all, he could be…more convincing…than the diminutive demon. No, it was likely for the better that he had stayed behind and sent his vassal to search for a healer. Jaken knew even less about human medicine than he did. Rin was better cared for under his watchful eye.

The girl began another coughing fit, gasping for air whenever there was a long enough break in her fit. He could hear her breathing becoming even shallower. Kami, Jaken had better hurry.

x.X.x

Kagome gasped in awe at the splendid sight that sprawled across the ground before her. The Western Estates stretched for what seemed like miles. The estate was laid out like a Shinden-zukuri, a style of domestic architecture developed for the aristocracy that Kagome had learned about when she had reluctantly taken a drafting class with Ayumi in middle school.

The expansive courtyard that lay before the southern facing Shinden, the main building of the estate, was obviously overgrown, but she could clearly make out small stream filtering into a large pond. From the Shinden sprouted at least a dozen tai-no-yas, four in each remaining cardinal direction. These buildings, connected to the main house by exterior corridors with overhead roofing, probably served as bedrooms for extended family or guests.

As they started their descent downward, Kagome could tell that the estate had been long abandoned. The both the Eastern and Western pavilions overlooking the vast courtyard were overgrown with foliage that had wended itself around the supporting columns long ago. Many of the weather-beaten wooden planks that made up the roof now littered the ground. Many of those that had managed to cling to the aging structures were now rotted. Vines were beginning to overtake larger structures, having already snaked their way around the railings of the open hallways between tai-no-yas.

Despite the lush overgrowth that had overtaken the majority of the estate, Kagome could easily see how fantastically palatial the Western Estate must have once been. She could see the great Inu no Taisho calling a residence so extravagant as this his home without difficulty. She imagined his servants bustling about, attending to their duties while a young Inuyasha and his mother played in the courtyard. She smiled at the thought that she knew to be false. She doubted that neither Izayoi nor Inuyasha had ever set foot in this place. Sesshomaru's mother had probably been the lady of the estate. Regardless, it was a shame that such a grandiose place had fallen into dilapidation.

"Lord Sesshomaru and Rin have taken up residence in one of the western tai-no-yas," Jaken explained as Ah-Un veered toward the West and away from the Shinden. "It is a shame you are not presentable for the Lord, but that will be attended to after Rin's condition is assessed and treated."

Kagome rolled her eyes at the imp, but said nothing. Her stomach should have been in knots, but it wasn't. From the symptoms that Jaken had described, it sounded as though the girl had pneumonia, a condition that could be deadly even in modern times. So, what if she could not help the girl? What if Rin died under her care? Sesshomaru would surely kill her. The thought did not even evoke so much as a blink.

As the two-headed dragon touched down, landing in the overgrown grass next to the westernmost tai-no-ya, Kagome repositioned the straps of her heavy yellow backpack in grim resignation. She had learned a lot about medicinal herbs with Kaede throughout the years, and she had used her first aid kit sparingly since refilling it last. But the question still burned in the forefront of her mind. Would it be enough to save the girl?


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Thanks again to all my readers! To my reviewers, I really appreciate your feedback! I know this story is slower-paced, but I have some really great ideas for it. All in good time, I promise.**_

* * *

Sesshomaru scrutinized the woman that Jaken had found to help care for Rin with a hesitant eye. Inuyasha's wench had never looked like much to begin with, but now she looked even less so. There was no longer any color to her flesh or tone to her muscle. Her hair had lost its luster and her face, its animation. She was scrawny, now, underfed and not very well cared for. The woman looked almost looked as though she was sickly herself and might collapse at any moment.

"This was the best you could do, Jaken?" Sesshomaru queried, an indeterminate amount of doubt floating behind his golden eyes. There was no flash of indignation in the miko's eyes at his question. Before whatever terrible thing had turned her into a shade of what once was, there would have been. Now, it seemed she did not even register his words as an insult.

"I...I'm sorry milord!" the imp cried out, scrambling to bow apologetically. "It was this miko or an elderly one. If you do not trust Rin's care to her, I will go find a different healer."

Kagome ignored their exchange and, instead, focused her attention on the shallow gasps and wheezes coming from the resting girl. She definitely sounded like she had pneumonia. Her skin was colorless, and she would occasionally shudder as if she were cold.

"Has she been eating or drinking any water?" Kagome asked moving to the girl's bedside. Her dark eyes flickered towards the Demon Lord that her question was directed at, but did raise her eyes to meet his.

Sesshomaru tensed inwardly as she moved closer to his ward, but he did not show his discomfort outwardly. He watched as the woman placed a hand upon the girl's forehead, to gauge her temperature, still uncertain whether he trusted Rin's well-being to the frail looking miko. She pursed her lips and looked him expectantly.

"Well?" she insisted a second time. The inuyoukai could detect a hint of impatience in the woman's voice and wondered whether she was being rude or if Rin's condition was just that urgent.

"She has had nothing to eat since her symptoms started, and she does not seem to want to drink more than a few sips of water at a time," he replied at long last.

"Has she been physically ill?" Kagome continued, trying to remember everything she could about the girl's condition. This was not her first time treating someone with the ailment, but this was the worst she had ever seen it. Plus, she did not have Kaede present to advise her.

"Twice."

The woman considered this information thoughtfully before pressing her ear to Rin's chest. Sesshomaru hands clenched into fists as the woman took liberties with Rin's person that he was not sure that he was comfortable with, but he made no move to stop her. He watched the miko's vacant eyes process whatever she was hearing. With his youkai hearing he could detect the roughness in Rin's rapid breathing, but he did not know how to solve the problem.

"I will need a few bulbs of garlic, some fish and whatever vegetables can be found, water, more than what you already have and mint leaves," the miko rattled off, racking her brain as to tried to remember everything.

"Jaken, fetch everything the woman needs," Sesshomaru ordered, his eyes unmoving from Rin's prone form. "Quickly."

"So you will be able to help her?" the youkai lord inquired attempting to keep the hope from his baritone voice. His endeavor was unsuccessful, and he found the girl looking at him with the first emotion she had yet to express, pity.

"I will do all that I know how," she replied soothingly, reaching into her overstuffed, yellow backpack. "Her symptoms are very severe, if she is vomiting and displaying decreased signs of thirst. I have never seen pneumonia so far advanced, but I think I may have something that will help her breath a little easier."

After she had spent a good amount of time rummaging around in her backpack, she pulled forth a bright white container covered with words and pictures he did not recognize. She twisted the lid off the top and tipped the bottle causing the contents to rattle loudly, until two dark orange circles were resting in the palm of her hand. The youkai gave the miko a suspicious look.

"It's modern medicine," she offered reassuringly, but her statement did not put the inuyoukai any more at ease.

"What kind of medicine?" he demanded, wishing to know exactly what she was planning to give Rin.

"These are called ibuprofen," she explained holding her hand toward him so he could examine the pills. He did not detect the scent of poison, but he still found himself distrusting of this so-called ibuprofen. "It has many functions. For Rin, it will help ease the swelling in her chest and it will dull any pain she might be feeling."

"There is swelling in Rin's chest?" he exclaimed alarmed. This time he managed to keep his distress away from his serene features. The woman gave him a small smile that did not manage to reach her eyes as she nodded.

"That is what pneumonia is," she elucidated further, the smile softening her newly angular features. "It is an infection that causes her lungs to become inflamed. If she swallows this ibuprofen, the swelling should decrease, and her breathing should get a little bit easier."

"Give her the medicine," Sesshomaru assented, willing to do anything to help Rin's suffering. The miko fished a cylindrical container that resembled a small tea bowl from her bag and filled it with water. She then moved to sit Rin up against the wall behind the futon.

"Rin," she cooed softly, rubbing the girls back as she sat her upright. "Rin I need you to sit up so you can take some medicine."

The girl's eyes fluttered open slowly, as she began to wake from her slumber. The miko continued to talk softly to the girl, convincing her to wake up a little more, until Rin's tired eyes were focused on the woman. When her lethargic mind had finally processed who was speaking, she seemed surprised.

"Lady…Kagome," she mumbled, her breathing labored. The woman nodded with a kind smile. Sesshomaru noticed for a second time that her smile failed to reach her eyes.

"Sh, Rin. I'm here to help you get better," Kagome stated soothingly, gently patting the girl's mass of tangled hair as she sat next to her on the futon.

"But…Who will…help you get…better?" Rin rasped, noticing the miko's troubling appearance. Sesshomaru could not believe how kind-hearted his ward was. She was worried about the well-being of another, despite her own serious condition.

It was easy to see how the girl would think the miko was ill. Kagome's pasty skin nearly matched the colorless tone brought on by Rin's illness. She had bags underneath her eyes, dark and purple, that had never been there before. The corners of her mouth were now perpetually downturned, and the fight seemed to have left her eyes. She looked hollow, resembling the clay wench more now than ever before. Briefly, he pondered the cause of such a considerable change in the woman.

"I'm not sick, sweetie," she cooed gently, reaching for the small bowl she had filled with water. "But, you know what? If you would swallow these pills and drink all of this water, I would feel a whole lot better."

The girl looked toward Sesshomaru who nodded silently, his golden eyes, while frigid to the casual observer, were laced with good-natured concern. He watched as she fumbled to pick up the pills in her tiny fingers and placed them in her mouth. He could smell open wounds on her breath, as though there were lesions in her mouth, and he wrinkled his nose distastefully. As the miko brought the water-filled receptacle to the child's mouth and she drank, swallowing the pills with a gulp, the distressing scent began to fade a bit. He tried to put it out of his mind, assuming that it was an effect of her violent coughing. He continued to monitor the miko, who was trying to convince the girl to finish her water.

"Rin, honey," Kagome urged holding the cup to her lips again. "You need to drink until the cup is empty."

"I'm not thirsty," croaked the girl petulantly, trying, unsuccessfully, to turn her head farther away.

"I know, but you're dehydrated. Your body is confused right now because it's sick. It needs more water than it thinks it does," she goaded tipping the cup so that it trickled more water into the girl's mouth. A small stream dribbled out of the corner of her mouth as she refused to swallow the offering.

"Rin, do not argue or misbehave. Do as the miko tells you," Sesshomaru ordered firmly, his sonorous voice devoid of the anxiety he was trying to suppress. At his word, Rin began to sip the water slowly, until the priestess satisfied that the girl had consumed enough fluids. Setting the cup upon the ground, she let the girl recline and drenched a rag in cool water, ringing it out before folding it and placing it upon the girl's forehead to help her fever.

"She needs to rest now. When Jaken gets back I'll make some soup for her to eat. If she doesn't eat, she won't be able to regain her strength. She also needs to eat around 8 to 10 cloves of garlic daily. It has antiseptic properties that will help fight her infection," the girl explained as she retrieved shining cookware and various other sundries from her bag. She organized them in silence preparing for the imp's return. Once she was finished, she moved her bag into a nearby corner and moved to lean against the wall. The aged wood creaked a little as she shifted her weight against it, but she paid no mind to its protest.

Sesshomaru sat as well, his back straight as he studied her for a moment. She seemed a different person from the defiant teenager who pulled Tessaiga from his father's gravesite. It was obvious that she had matured since that day. It had been years, after all, but there was more than a sense of world-weariness about her. She was far beyond jaded.

He had to admit, that since that first day, he had been waiting for the disillusionment that came with seeing the harsh realities of the world to take hold of her. She always acted as though she was living in a fairytale, in a world where good triumphed over evil and everything worked out for the hero in the end. But her current state was beyond disenchantment; it was damaged. He could see it behind her once spirited eyes. She had been broken, completely and utterly.

He wondered what it was that had done it. Sesshomaru almost wanted to ask why she was so changed. It was fascinating to see one of the strongest-willed beings he had ever encountered completely lose her zeal for life.

It wasn't a sadistic interest. He took no pleasure in her condition. He knew that if he lost Rin, he would be the same as she was; broken, possible irreparably. He realized it suddenly. It was empathy that had his attention. He _empathized_ with her.

The thought was preposterous. Rin was the only human he had ever found himself sympathetic towards. Not because he could relate to her once pathetic life, but because she was so warm that the coldness of death did not suit her. But now, he was finding correlations between his emotions and those emotions of a human nothing.

That's what she was; nothing. Sitting there, pale and knock-kneed, her legs so thin he easily wrap a single hand around them at the widest point, she was a waste. She had obviously been starving herself for months. She probably wasn't sleeping. And for some, kami-forsaken reason, he cared.

It wasn't because he held any sort of fondness for the woman. She was nothing to look at, especially now. Her childish, easily-antagonized personality was something he had found grating. It was respect for her character, one that was once so like his. She used to have such strength of character, such a steel will. No human had ever been so determined to accomplish her goals. In that way, she was a kindred spirit, a like soul. He found that he resented her for letting it all break, for giving him a picture of his possible future. No, it wasn't just possible, it was inevitable.

Rin was human. Even if she survived this pneumonia, she could sicken again or become wounded. She was frail and mortal, and even if life was kind to her for the remainder of her years, they were still limited. Age would eventually tear her from his grasp. It really wasn't that far in the future. The average human lifespan was anywhere from 30 to 40 years. Rin could possibly make it a couple decades longer. But for Sesshomaru, a decade wasn't much more than the blink of his eye.

From where he sat on the tatami flooring, Sesshomaru gave the miko a sidelong glance. She was still awake, staring off in the distance as some unknown horror paraded itself before her. He could see it in her eyes; panic, grief, guilt, abhorrence all danced in her brown eyes. Anyone who did not understand the subtleties of expression would've missed it, but to him, it was clear as day. Kagome wasn't just broken; she was seething with rage and hatred. She kept it hidden well, but it was there, just underneath the surface, waiting to escape.


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: After an inappropriately long break for such a fledgling story, I'm back! Sorry it took me so long. Hopefully I get back into the swing of things.**_

* * *

It was just over an hour before Jaken returned with the items the miko had requested for Rin's recovery. Sesshomaru found himself vexed with the imp's lack of haste, but reminded himself that a fair amount had been asked of him. The kappa dropped the items he had collected in front of the woman unceremoniously; taking care only with the vessel of water he carried, so as not to spill a drop.

"Lord Sesshomaru," Kagome began tonelessly as she rummaged through the various items with which Jaken had returned, placing them with the items she already removed from her bag in way that made sense to no one but herself. "I will need a room in which I can build a fire."

"There is a pit in this room," the taiyoukai replied, motioning toward a crumbling fire pit on the far end of the large room. The woman's empty eyes followed the dragging crimson tail of his otherwise alabaster sleeve as his arm moved. She noted the trail that it left in the dust that still covered a fair portion of the tatami flooring. The room would need a thorough cleaning once Rin was well enough to be moved, as the dust, if disturbed, could hinder the girl's condition.

Kagome's eyes flicked back to the ingredients she had set out in front of her and nodded her head in understanding but pressed on, "I can't build a fire in this room. The smoke will exacerbate Rin's condition if inhaled."

The Youkai Lord raised his eyebrows in mild surprise, though his golden eyes did not show any. This was not something he had considered. The miko clearly knew what she was doing, despite looking feeble and incapable. He found himself impressed with her knowledge and the considerations she gave to Rin's condition, despite the fact that her own condition did not appear to be much better. The only discernible difference between the two was that Rin's condition was physical and the Miko's, mental, but both were wasting away.

"Jaken, direct the Miko somewhere appropriate for her to perform the tasks necessary for Rin's recovery then return to me when she has set about her task," Sesshomaru commanded, rising to his feet to move closer to his slumbering ward. He had detected a change in her breathing, and he wanted a better listen.

The Demon Lord waited for the pair to gather the necessities for the task and exit the room. When the sound of their shuffling feet faded away, Sesshomaru moved his ear closer to Rin's cracked lips. Her breathing sounded less labored, as though whatever was blocking her airways had been lessened. She was nowhere near sounding normal, but even the minute improvement was an enormous relief. He pushed her damp bangs off her forehead to find that her fever had also lessened a slight amount. The strange medicine Kagome had administered was clearly working.

"Milord," Jaken squawked from the doorway, interrupting Sesshomaru's slightly awed reflections. He had not even heard the imp approach, and the taiyoukai found himself inwardly chagrined that he was allowing his concern to diminish his usual vigilance. "The Miko is preparing a remedy of steam and mint leaves to help Rin's breathing, and she has assured me that she will begin preparing stock for a soup so that Rin will have some sort of sustenance. Is there anything more you require of me?"

Sesshomaru watched as he bowed at the waist hastily after his inquiry. The imp looked as exhausted as Sesshomaru felt, but the youkai had not noticed the change in his appearance until this moment. His yellow eyes were bloodshot and puffy, and his typically green skin looked dull and grayish. Usually Sesshomaru would have considered such a thing beneath his notice, but he found himself feeling almost guilty that he had driven his faithful vassal to such a point of exhaustion. Rin's worrisome condition was having a profound effect upon his usual stoicism.

"Until I, or the Miko, return, I must ask you to keep watch over Rin. If there are any changes in her condition summon Kagome to attend to it at once," Sesshomaru commanded, moving from Rin's bedside. There were things that needed attending to that the Demon Lord preferred to do himself. He would let Jaken rest for a while, while he stretched his legs. He was beginning to feel as if he was going stir crazy, waiting on Rin's condition to improve. Some fresh air would do him good.

The imp bowed once in silent reply, stepping out of the doorway so his master could pass through unimpeded. He set his staff in the corner of the room, and took up watch, satisfied with the task requested of him. Sesshomaru was surprised that his vassal had not pressed for answers about the taiyoukai's intended whereabouts, but he quickly dismissed it. Rin's condition and his own exhaustion were clear reasons for the Kappa's unusually subdued behavior.

As he exited the tai-no-ya, his sensitive nose detected the acrid smell of smoke and the sweet scent of mint wafting through air from another tai-no-ya that was much closer to the courtyard Sesshomaru's mother used to love so much during her time spent here. The thought brought back a flood of memories, some of which the inuyoukai wished he could suppress.

He could clearly remember how beautiful she looked in the springtime underneath the blossoming cherry trees that lined the stone pathway to the gardens. She always had a haughty, tight-lipped smile resting on her features, and her silver hair was always in an ornate updo without a strand out of place. She wouldn't even leave her room without donning one of her finest kimonos, but, for the life of him, Sesshomaru could not determine what it was, exactly, she meant by that as all her kimonos were of the finest quality. She was such a vain creature; vain, but beautiful. But she had raised him lovingly, nonetheless.

He supposed that was why she was such a bitter creature now. She felt abandoned, first by his father and now by her own son, but Sesshomaru knew he would not have been able to live here with her for the rest of his life, especially not after his father's demise. He shook himself mentally. Kami, how he hated this place and all the memories that came with it and the ponderings they caused. He did not have time to stand about thinking of things that could not be changed, daylight would become scarce soon, and there were tasks that he wished to accomplish before its end.

He moved silently toward the old servants quarters on the east side of the expansive manor, making sure to choose a path that would prevent him from wandering into the shinden, or main building of his father's decrepit estate. While Sesshomaru was hardly what one might call superstitious, it seemed sacrilege to wander too near the crumbling structure now that it was devoid of all the bustle with which it was once filled. Like ghosts, Sesshomaru's memories flitted in and out of doorways and down the open corridors as he tread carefully, avoiding rotted planks and tangled masses of vines that would trip anyone less graceful than the inuyoukai.

His purpose in visiting the servants' quarters was to find suitable attire for the Miko. He was certain he did not actually possess any traditional Miko apparel, but a simple kosode and some hakama would suffice for the time being. That was assuming that the garments left in this place had escaped the ravages of time.

Sesshomaru searched the remains of the decaying rooms for a short while before he came across an ornately carved trunk. The scent of stale wood and clothing assaulted his nose as he lifted the lid. He was pleased to find that the clothing inside was still intact. He found two pair of faded gray hakama and three kosode of the same color. He allowed the corners of his mouth to twitch upward slightly at another reminder of his mother's vanity. So concerned was she at the being the most beautiful, she had called for all the female servants' uniforms to be devoid of color, so none would compare. Beneath the standard uniform of the house, he found a pale blue sleeping yukata.

The clothing was dusty, but the inuyoukai was content with his find, nonetheless. The woman was in need of a proper bath and a decent change of clothes, and these would do just fine. He would not have her tending to Rin in the tattered and filthy joke of what she considered proper garb. He would make certain she kept herself clean and presentable during her stay, and that she took the time to care for herself in ways that she had obviously been neglecting for some time. It would not do for Rin's caretaker to also fall ill and become as incapacitated as her charge.

Sesshomaru closed the trunk and refastened the clasp that held it in place before lifting it deftly as though it weighed nothing. He retraced his steps through the ruins, until he reached the northernmost cluster of tai-no-yas. Instead of continuing down the roofed corridor, he leapt to the ground and proceeded north toward a thick cluster of leafy trees. Though it had been nearly a century since he had set foot in this place, he still remembered it as clearly as if it had only been day. He found the slight gap in the trees, and continued down what used to be a tidy stone path, that was now lost beneath the overgrown grass and undergrowth of the forest.

The trees began to thin as he continued and the overwhelming smell of sulfur filled his nostrils. The hot spring was still exactly as he remembered. A ring of flat stones surrounded the large pool of steaming water, and the round stepping stones that descended diagonally into the depths of the clear spring had not shifted out of place. He set the trunk down in a tuft of grass near to the topmost stepping stone and moved closer to the hot spring, before bending slightly and allowing his fingers to graze the water's surface. He watched the ripples caused by his disturbance of the otherwise serene pool until they faded. It was the only part of his former home that remained just as he remembered.

The small part of his sentimentality that had not yet been lost found solace in this. Though everything else had decayed and crumbled, this one, small, familiar comfort had remained the same. The depredation of time had spared him this one luxurious refuge.

x.X.x

Being as careful as was possible, Kagome carried a steaming bowl of boiled water and mint leaves toward the room in which Rin rested. The short way between the room in which she was working and the room of the sick child was fraught with disintegrating floorboards and trip hazards. As she reached the intended doorway, she breathed a sigh of relief that she had completed her trek without pouring scalding water down her front.

Kagome had expected Sesshomaru to be keeping watch over his young ward like a guard dog, but instead found Jaken snoring loudly, his head between his knees as he slumbered propped against the wall facing Rin's bed. Kagome tiptoed softly to Rin's bedside and set the steaming bowl on the floor next to the girl's face. Inhaling the minty steam would work with the ibuprofen to help the girl to breathe even more clearly.

Kagome placed a delicate hand on the girl's clammy forehead. Her fever had yet to break. The Miko found a piece of cloth and dipped it in the warm water, moving outside to ring it out over the splintered railing of the corridor. She smoothed the cloth out and waved it around in the air, until it became cool before folding it into a neat rectangle which she gently draped over Rin's damp forehead.

Kagome ran her pale, bony fingers through her tangled and lusterless locks before turning to the sleeping kappa. As kindly as she could, the Miko tapped his shoulder. The worn-out imp woke with a start, squawking loudly in surprise. Kagome placed a finger to her chapped, bloodless lips in a shushing motion, warning the retainer to quiet lest he wake Rin from her rest. She then motioned to the clay bowl of steaming water before she spoke.

"The steam needs to be fanned toward her face," Kagome instructed in little more than a whisper. "I would do it myself, but I haven't finished cooking the soup," she added apologetically. She waited for his protest or a sign of offense that a human dare assign him a task but none came. He merely nodded in reply and rubbed at his sleep laden eyes. Kagome took this as a sign to return to the task at hand.

As she stepped out into the derelict corridor, her expressionless eyes met a frosty pair of golden orbs staring at her from the entryway of the room she was using to cook. She froze for a moment before continuing forward toward the Youkai Lord. In his hand he held what looked to be a rabbit, gutted and skinned. He held it out to her expectantly as she approached him.

"Rin is not the only one who needs sustenance."


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: An enormous thank you to my reviewers LoveInTheBattleField and Rachel for sticking with me despite my extended absence! Another big thank you to all my readers! Hope you enjoy!**_

* * *

Kagome sighed to herself as she sank deeper into the steaming water surrounding her. She closed her eyes for a moment and found her head swimming with painful memories. She had not bathed properly since the last time she found a hot spring with Sango, instead choosing to douse herself in cold water only when it became hygienically necessary to clean her person. She hadn't even bothered with soap or shampoo for such a long time, not since Sango had begun her descent into madness after discovering Miroku's impending fate.

She didn't deserve the relaxation that came with a luxurious bath, once a favorite creature comfort of hers. In fact, if Sesshomaru had not insisted she bathe before resuming her care of Rin, she would not be here. She dunked her head under the water to rinse the shampoo out of her hair wondering if she could hold herself there long enough to drown. She came up moments later with a loud splash, gasping for air.

The Youkai Lord's requests of her were bordering on strange. The previous night had been adamant that he feed Rin the garlicky soup Kagome had concocted, so that she could cook the rabbit for herself. When he returned later to find little of the meat eaten, he demanded she eat more. Now, on the morning of her second day with the taiyoukai, he required her to bathe and change her clothing.

She wasn't certain how well Sesshomaru was educated on human hygiene, but she assumed that was his reasoning for these requirements. After all, it would be easy for her to become ill in her current state, in which case, Sesshomaru would be out a caretaker for Rin. That was probably also where the food came into the picture. Her extreme weight loss was far from unobtrusive.

She pulled a bony arm from the water and inspected it. Her flesh, though pink from the warm water, seemed paler now that it had been cleaned with soap and hot water. She followed the web of blue veins perfectly visible through her translucent skin before her eyes rested on her elbow. The bones seemed to bulge unnaturally from her skeletal arm.

She couldn't even remember the last real meal she had eaten before she began punishing herself for the wrongs she committed against her friends. She may have had a bite of stew or nibbled at whatever Shippo pushed in her direction at meal times, but she hadn't had an appetite since discovering Miroku's wind tunnel hadn't disappeared. She had stopped eating altogether after his death. And, after finding Sango, Kagome moved to the side of the hot springs and spilled the small amount of food in her body into the grass, retching violently.

She still couldn't believe it was real. The image of Sango's hunched form kneeling over, forehead upon the ground, with a katana protruding from her belly through to her back paraded itself through her mind's eye. She was there; dead in the barren hole Miroku's demise had left, scarring the otherwise green patch of Earth. Dried blood stained the soil beneath her a dark red, its coppery scent still lingering in the air. The stench of evacuated bowels and the beginnings of decay assaulted her nostrils. Shippo let out a strangled whimper. It was something Kagome would never forget.

Kagome began to weep, gulping in huge shuddering breaths between sobs, her emaciated form quaking with grief. It had not even been two weeks since Sango took her own life, and Kagome knew she had no one to blame but herself. If only she hadn't made that damnable wish on that contemptible stone.

Trying to compose herself, the Miko splashed water into her face and rubbed her puffy eyes. It was probably about time she returned to Sesshomaru and Rin. She rose from the spring, wrapping herself in a towel as she moved toward the wooden trunk, taking no notice of its beauty as she pushed open the lid. She fished out a pair of dove grey hakama and the matching kosode, before fishing a fresh pair of underclothes from her bag. The sandals in the chest were too small for her feet, so she slipped on a fresh pair of socks and her brown loafers. When she was dressed, she collected her various bathing sundries and set off down the winding overgrown path through the thick copse of trees. When she emerged, she found Ah-Un waiting for her, ready to take her back to the tai-no-ya.

x.X.x

It was nearing afternoon when Jaken and Ah-Un had returned from the errand Sesshomaru had sent them on early that morning. The taiyoukai sent the two-headed dragon to wait for the Miko outside the hot spring while Jaken informed him of all that he had learned. As it turned out, there was much to be said.

"My Lord," the kappa greeted him bowing low, with a concerned glance in Rin's direction. "How is she?"

"Her breathing has eased, but not considerably," replied the inuyoukai, not bothering to elucidate further. "What information do you bring?"

"About the change in the Miko?" the imp inquired, though Sesshomaru ignored the question. "I do not understand why you are so interested in the affairs of a common, human woman."

"Jaken," the Demon Lord snapped coolly, the threat of impending punishment laced throughout his voice.

"Yes milord, let's see… From what I have gathered, Inuyasha's clay wench was the one who ultimately defeated Naraku, dragging him to hell with her."

"I was there, Jaken," Sesshomaru interrupted in irritation.

"Yes, of course, I'm sorry milord. Let's see… Oh yes, Inuyasha has not recovered from this loss. There was much gossip in the village about him blaming Kagome for her part in Kikyo's death. He seems to believe that Kagome should have wished for Kikyo to live instead of the wish she made for the Shikon no Tama to cease its existence. They have not traded civil words in months."

The diminutive demon looked up at Sesshomaru as if waiting for a reply. When he received none, the imp continued, "The Miko's human companions, the monk and the tajiya, have both perished not even a fortnight ago. It seems the monk's wind tunnel did not disappear from his hand after Naraku's defeat, and instead devoured him. The tajiya was obviously in love with the monk and chose to end her own life after his passing. But the most interesting part, I heard from the young fox kit, himself."

"Get on with it, Jaken," Sesshomaru growled irritably, moving to trade the wet cloth on Rin's head for a fresh one.

"It seems that the Miko is unable to travel home, because after the Shikon Jewel disappeared, so did the link to Kagome's time. The human woman had the ability to travel between this time and a time in the future through the old well in the Forest of Inuyasha."

If Sesshomaru was surprised, he did not show it. It made some sort of sense. The strange ibuprofen she claimed was modern medicine, her odd clothing and supplies, her peculiar behaviors, it was adding up. But, that wasn't the part that truly interested the Youkai Lord. He dismissed Jaken, ordering him to find somewhere to rest.

It made sense now. It was no wonder the woman was wasting away. She had lost everything. Her friends were dead. Her home and family out of reach. There was nothing left for her here, and yet, she had to stay. The limited knowledge of the girl that he possessed told him she was punishing herself, believing Inuyasha's selfish accusations that she made the wrong wish. Had he been in her shoes, Sesshomaru could very well see himself making the same decision. How was she to know the outcome?

He found himself irritated with the Miko for blaming herself and allowing Inuyasha to affect her so. Anything that had been extraordinary about the Miko had disappeared since Naraku's defeat, and she had allowed it to dissipate. The neglect through which she put herself was disturbing.

He also found that he was angry with Inuyasha for exacerbating her grief. It was not fair of him to blame her for actions made by the clay priestess. It had been Kikyo's decision to die, not Kagome's. He had been there during the final battle, exacting his revenge against Naraku along with the rest. No one had forced the undead Miko into doing what she did, and, in fact, it had seemed that had been her plan all along.

Sesshomaru took a moment to shake himself mentally. Why did he even care? The life of the Miko never meant anything to him before. She was not important to him or special in any way. So why was he sitting here, pitying her and going out of his way to care for her, when he already had enough to worry about with Rin? It had to be the sentimentality that came with his childhood home. He curled his lip in disgust at the thought. This place was making him soft, and he had only been here for a few days.

Rin wheezed softly, bringing him out of his thoughts, and he turned his attention back to mopping her forehead. Moments later, he heard Ah-Un touch down in the grass outside the tai-no-ya. Soft footsteps made their way up creaking stairs, and a moment later, the Miko was standing in the doorway, hair long hair damp and her dark eyes rimmed red.

He was struck by the notion that she had been crying. It was obvious that she was still grieving her lost friends, after all, Jaken had said that it had not yet been two weeks. Sesshomaru could not be sure of the human grieving process, but he recalled Izayoi's desolation lasting for an extensive period after Inu no Taisho's death. What surprised him the most was that this emotion, that he long felt a weakness of humanity, evoked compassion from him.

He watched as she moved silently, her eyes downcast, to Rin's side, opposite himself and placed the back of her frail hand to the girl's forehead. She seemed thoughtful for a moment, before moving to sit the girl up. Rin woke, delirious, but alert, and the woman was handing her more orange pills and water. The grey servant's uniform seemed to hang from her emaciated frame, but her hair, though still drying, seemed to possess more shine, and her scent was more pleasant.

"Rin, honey," Kagome mumbled soothingly almost startling Sesshomaru, who had not been expecting the interruption in the pervasive silence. "You need to drink all the water in the cup, and then you can go back to sleep."

Fighting her lack of thirst for the desire to be obedient, Rin gulped the water slowly, until the cylindrical vessel Kagome held was empty. The Miko helped the girl to lie down again and pulled the burgundy blanket over Rin's shivering form. It was disquieting to see how quickly an activity as simple as sitting up exhausted her.

"When she is feeling a little better, a visit to the hot springs might help her breathe easier," Kagome offered flatly, any warmth that she had managed for Rin now gone from her voice. Sesshomaru merely nodded in reply. He searched for something to say, finding that small talk was not his strong suit.

Sesshomaru finally settled on, "You should have something to eat."

Kagome's empty brown eyes met his cold golden ones, the ghost of surprise reflecting in them before she reached for her bag. She fished a squished granola bar from the bottom of her bag, and began to peel the wrapper back as slowly as was possible, staring at the food item as though she were disgusted by it. Sesshomaru watched her intently all the while.

"It is important you keep up your strength, Miko," Sesshomaru chided softly, noting her reaction. "Once Rin has been cured, you may continue your current pattern of self-neglect."

Mechanically, Kagome took a bit of the granola bar, chewing slowly. She still felt nauseated, but she tried to ignore the protests of her stomach. She stopped once half of it was gone, wrapped the remained carefully in the excess wrapping, and replaced in her bag.

"I need to prepare another steam solution for Rin," the woman said woodenly, exiting the room, leaving a frustrated youkai in her wake. She had hardly consumed any food at all! How could he trust her to care for Rin, when she could not even care for herself properly? Briefly he wondered if that was the only reason he cared, but he dismissed the thought immediately. Rin was, and always would be, his primary concern.


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: Well, I'm on a roll! Two chapters in a week! This was kind of a draining chapter for me with all the feels at the end, but hopefully you enjoy reading it! A big thanks to my consistent reviewers and readers!**_

* * *

A week of forced small talk, furtive glances and awkward silences passed as Kagome continued tending to Rin. The girl's breathing was no longer labored, but she remained weak and fatigued and was still spending most of her time sleeping. The usual rosy tinge on Rin's hollowed cheeks had yet to come back, and she seemed to be losing more weight. Kagome was beginning to suspect that there was more to Rin's illness than her bout of pneumonia.

Sesshomaru, observant despite his lack of education in human medicine, also noticed that while Rin's condition seemed to be improving in some ways, in other's it seemed to be declining. He felt that this was abnormal for one supposedly recovering from illness. Every once in awhile, the youkai would still smell the stench of blood on the girl's breath. He wondered what it meant.

The taiyoukai was also paying close attention to the Miko. She had maintained an acceptable appearance, disallowing herself from becoming as unkempt as she had been upon her arrival, but she still was not eating any more than he required of her. In fact, Sesshomaru was certain that if he did not remind the woman to eat at meal times, she would be well on her way to death by starvation.

Her self-neglect still bothered him, but his original opinion toward the husk of woman had softened considerably. He no longer despised her for allowing herself to become so broken down but pitied her instead. He supposed it had something to do with the way she would cry out for her friends as she slept. Or maybe it was the fact that he would often catch her weeping softly when she thought no one was around. She was a woman in pain, mourning the many losses that her life had suddenly dealt her, and though Sesshomaru would never openly admit it, he had a soft spot for women who were truly suffering, youkai or not.

It was why he had saved Rin. She was an orphan, constantly abused by those in her village and left to fend for herself. And, despite all her pain and suffering, she was still willing to give of herself. He viewed Kagome in much the same way. While she lacked the cheerfulness with which Rin had handled her circumstances, she was still giving freely of her time and abilities and asking nothing in return.

The amount of grief that she shouldered also spoke volumes about the woman. The Miko had tried to do the world a favor by disposing of the Shikon no Tama, a bauble that left nothing but misery in its wake. Instead of the peace that she should have been met with after the jewel's destruction, the woman was met with more suffering and loss. Her closest friend turned against her while others left this world, and she took the blame, believing there was more she could and should have done. Her goodness was so phenomenally overwhelming that it was destroying her.

He himself had rarely been selfless in the centuries through which he had lived. It was not until he encountered Rin that he even realized what it was to give freely of oneself, without expectation of anything in return. It was one of the many reasons he was so attached to her. She brought out good in him, where had found only neutrality and gave purpose to his existence. He no longer sought the power he once believed was his birthright, and, instead, came to terms with the lesson his father had tried to teach even after his death. And now that Naraku was dead, Rin was the only thing that gave him purpose.

The aristocracy that once ruled over the lands had dissolved; his father's decayed estate was a testament to that. Humans were populating the land like vermin, swarming over it like a plague. The youkai race was beginning its decline as humans continued to take over more and more of their territories.

Sesshomaru sighed absently, observing the Miko as she bent over Rin. He was letting his mind wander too far off course. The fate of the youkai race did not bother nearly as much as Rin's fate. He watched the woman pull the covers off the girl and inspected the frail form that lay underneath. The expression on the Miko's usually expressionless face darkened before she pulled the covers back over girl. She rose to her feet, and approached the reclining taiyoukai without pause.

"Rin will be fine left alone for a short time," the Miko stated tonelessly. Sesshomaru glanced up at her unsure of the point the woman was trying to make. "Will you walk with me for a while?"

Wordlessly, the Youkai Lord also rose, his pristine silk haori fluttering delicately as he moved. Normally, he would have declined to accompany her out for fresh air, but it was a strange request coming from the broken Kagome he was now familiar with. It was the first thing she had asked of him since she had come to care for Rin, so he felt he was required to oblige her, and, Sesshomaru had to admit, he could not deny his curiosity.

He followed her out the door way, watching her sway underneath the weight of the heavy grey material in which her spare figure was draped. The dark wavy hair cascading down the woman's back was swinging to and fro, at the same pace as her unsteady gait. He increased his pace slightly, until he was walking alongside her in the rickety corridor, the open air surrounding them cooling as the warm autumn afternoon began its customary shift to evening.

They walked in silence until they reached the pavilion at the end of the corridor. The Miko moved to the railing that overlooked the unkempt courtyard, inspecting it closely before resting her forearms on the wood beam and leaning forward. Her eyes roved across the forgotten splendor of the once beautiful grounds, lingering on the untended algae-ridden ponds, as she searched for the words that she had been trying to find.

She had seen the bruises on Rin's arms and shoulders, where they had helped her to sit up or settle back under her covers. There were angry, red, pinprick marks around the girl's legs, which were beginning to swell, and her gums had also began to swell and bleed. She had been complaining of pain in her elbows and shoulders for the past couple of days, and though it seemed her pneumonia had eased for the time being, the persistent cough Kagome thought had been alleviated was returning with a vengeance.

Kagome had seen these symptoms once before, when she was in her first year of junior high school. She remembered it so clearly, it felt as though it were yesterday. Her friend, Ayumi, had a younger brother who was the same age as Sota. As the six weeks of summer break approached, Ayumi's brother became very sick. Kagome could remember seeing him in the hospital, struggling to breath and covered in bruises when she went to visit him with Ayumi. She had listened outside the door with her friend as the doctors explained the multiple symptoms associated with the boy's illness, and what they could expect. The prognosis had not sounded very good. Halfway through the summer holidays, leukemia had taken the life of Ayumi's little brother.

"Miko," Sesshomaru spoke softly, drawing Kagome from her thoughts. He moved beside her, absently placing a clawed hand on the railing. "You appear to have something weighing on your mind."

The Miko looked up at him through eyes so full of hurt and sorrow, that he forgot the emotionless husk of human she had become. Briefly Sesshomaru allowed himself to entertain the idea that the spirited, exuberant woman he once silently admired for her strength of character had once more returned. He had seen this look in her eyes many times before, full of pity and love, and he felt his heart beginning to race nervously. Her news was not good.

"I think…I think that Rin may be…dying," she whispered the last word as though she herself was unable to face such a harsh reality. He could smell the salt of tears gather in her eyes, as he stared at her with an alarmed expression on his usually indifferent features.

"What do you mean, woman!?" the taiyoukai barked in distress. The Miko drew her bottom lip in between her teeth for a moment as though deciding how, exactly, she ought to break the news of the girl's condition.

"I am, by no means, a doctor," she started, trying to maintain her composure. The Youkai Lord ignored the unfamiliar term, "and the technology for a proper diagnosis doesn't even exist yet. But, I am afraid Rin may have a type of illness called leukemia. Have you noticed blood on her breath?"

"Yes," Sesshomaru replied abruptly. "I thought it merely a symptom of her pneumonia."

Kagome shook her head. "I have never heard of it being a symptom of pneumonia, not that I'm an expert. In fact, I'm not sure if that's what she's been sick with any more. If I hadn't known another person who had leukemia, I wouldn't have even thought of it as a possibility in Rin's case. But," Kagome's mind flashed back to Ayumi's brother laying in his hospital bed, "she is displaying the same symptoms that I've seen before."

"This leukemia is deadly? There is no cure?" Sesshomaru inquired, barely able to stand the sound of the words coming from his mouth. His hand was now clutching the rail so tightly, it seemed to be molding into the shape of his palm. Kagome could hear the crunch of the wood beneath his fingers as she shook her head a second time.

"It'll be hundreds of years before it's even a diagnosis and even longer before a cure's discovered," Kagome muttered more to herself than to the taiyoukai as she racked her brain for treatment options. She had no idea how the disease was treated in modern times, let alone how to go about it in the Feudal Era. Sesshomaru was not ignorant of the fact that she was referencing her knowledge of the future, but it was knowledge that did him no good.

"Is she going to die?" the Demon Lord demanded slowly, desperation permeating his strangely uneven voice.

"If it is leukemia," Kagome affirmed nodding her head sorrowfully, her dark eyes unable to meet his, unable to face the emotions that would, no doubt, be registering in their amber depths. She felt certain that that was what was ailing Rin, and she had the faintest feeling that Sesshomaru knew it as well.

"How-long… How long does she have?" he asked, his baritone voice sounding abnormally clipped. Sesshomaru felt as though he would vomit. He had only felt this panicked once before, when he thought he had lost Rin forever, but he had been able to save her that time.. This illness was beyond both him and the Miko standing next to him, and he felt as though he had used up all his chances to save the little girl, _his_ little girl. Kagome reached her hand out tentatively, placing it on top of the hand with which the taiyoukai was still clutching the railing. She gave it a gentle squeeze, and despite the frailty of the tiny hand on top of his, it was incredibly warm.

"I don't know," she whispered, sadly; then more clearly she added, "Weeks, maybe. Even with treatment, the boy I knew barely lived longer than a month after being diagnosed."

"So there is treatment?" he exclaimed, a tiny flicker of hope springing to life in the pit of despair that had taken over the cavity of his chest.

"Not in this era," Kagome replied and found herself surprised when comprehension dawned on the inuyoukai's face. She couldn't help but wonder how Sesshomaru was so well-informed.

"Is there no way to repair the well?"

"The well isn't broken," Kagome answered, suppressing a strangled sob. "When the jewel disappeared, so did the link between times. It was the only thing that allowed me to travel back and forth."

He felt all hope drain from him and an overwhelming despondency consumed him. Tears were pouring freely down her face now, and she had pulled her hand away from his and was now wringing it with her other hand. She took deeps trembling breaths as she tried to control her weeping, but it was so difficult. Here was more suffering that she could have prevented if only she had made a different wish. She sank to ground, suddenly unable to stand.

"I'm so sorry, Sesshomaru. Kami, I'm so sorry!" she wailed miserably. "I should have wished for something else. Oh Kami, I should have wished for everyone I knew to be happy. I could have stayed and protected the jewel like Kikyo, and everyone would have been fine. Inuyasha wouldn't hate me, Sango and Miroku would still be alive… And Rin… Oh Rin…"

That was the last intelligible word Kagome uttered. Gasping, tremulous sobs were issuing so violently from the woman, that Sesshomaru felt as though the woman might collapse from lack of air. He wished that he could join her on the wooden planks, weeping like a woman, but in spite of his agonizing despair, he remained on his feet.

For a moment, he had briefly entertained the idea of being as angry with her as she was with herself for her inability to save Rin, but dismissed the idea as illogical immediately. He had already admitted to himself that he would have made the same decisions as Kagome, if put in her shoes, and if people in her era were still dying of this disease, Rin's unbearable fate could have very well been the same if circumstances had allowed her modern treatment. The Kami was the only place that Sesshomaru could direct his anger.

"Woman," Sesshomaru said softly, and Kagome's sobs quieted some. "Rin's fate is not your doing. If you were to blame, you would no longer draw breath."

The taiyoukai turned on his heel and walked away from the crying Miko, feeling incredibly off balance as he receded into the distance. He felt like he had woken up in a terrible nightmare. Rin was dying, and there was nothing he, nor anyone else, could do about it.


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: ACK! Sorry this took me two weeks to get up. I really meant to have it done a lot sooner, but I only write while I'm at work, and I got SLAMMED! I had to do more inventories than I ever want to do again last week, and this week has been an adventure in itself. I spent all of Monday and Tuesday sick as a dog, and yesterday I got to run a coworker to the hospital for broken fingers! Craziness! Okay, enough about me.. Thanks to my readers and reviewers (you know who you are), and I hope you enjoy the new chapter!**_

* * *

As days turned into weeks, Kagome worked tirelessly, day and night, caring for Rin, attending to every need the girl had without pause. She barely slept or ate and would only do these things when Sesshomaru reminded her that they were necessary. Despite the endless hours Kagome toiled at Rin's bedside, feeding and bathing the girl, plying her with medicinal herbs and performing any other tasks she found essential, Rin's condition continued to deteriorate.

For the first week, Sesshomaru did not move from the room in which Rin slept, watching intently for signs of improvement that would prove Kagome's theory about the girl's condition wrong. When she had flashed him a tired grin from beneath her covers, Sesshomaru was convinced there was no way the exuberant child was on death's door. She was merely taking longer to recover than expected. But after only a few days of extended consciousness, the girl fell back into a deep sleep for days, waking only to eat, drink and relieve herself.

The second week Sesshomaru found that he could not stand being in the room where his Rin was wasting away. He was beginning to realize that Rin was not going to get better. Soon he would be left alone, friendless and without purpose in this world. He often left Kagome alone, taking long walks and disappearing inside his head, to a world where Rin was healthy and life was good. He missed her squinty-eyed grin, her childish giggles and playful attitude. Now, at the tender age of eleven, the girl would be torn from this world

He felt certain that Kagome was also struggling with the idea of Rin's mortality, and the thought both warmed his heart and frustrated him at once. He was grateful for Kagome's tender brand of care and ability to establish affectionate feelings so easily, but he was also selfish. Kagome's sorrow made him feel as though he ought to comfort her, when the loss was his alone to bear. He did not want to share his grief with anyone. It was the reason he had dismissed Jaken after he realized that Rin would not be returning to good health. Sesshomaru desired to mourn Rin alone.

By the third, and final, week, Sesshomaru realized his moments with Rin were precious few. The girl had lost any extra weight her body had once held. There seemed to be no muscle beneath the translucent skin that stretched taut over her bones, giving her the appearance of a living skeleton. The sagging skin beneath her eyes was dark purple, as though she had been struck, reminding him briefly of their time in the woods before the wolves had given him a reason to save her. Her breathing seemed to come with immense difficulty. She no longer ate, barely drank and only experienced brief periods of lucidity. She was dying, and there was nothing anyone could do to change that.

That last week of the little girl's life, Sesshomaru spent clutching her bony hand, never leaving her bedside, and whispering words of love and comfort to the girl. He would stroke her tangled hair and try to converse with her during her brief lucid moments, trying so hard to clutch onto what remained of his beloved child. He spent that week giving her all the love his breaking heart could muster until she finally faded away from him forever. He watched the exact moment her sparkling brown eyes closed forever, heard as the faint beating of her heart ceased, and knew Rin was now forever unreachable.

x.X.x

The time had passed much differently for Kagome, who spent so much time focused on the needs of the child and her surrogate father that she had no time to grieve for her own losses. The first week after her uncertain diagnosis, Kagome worked harder than she ever had in her life, doing everything in her power to make the young girl well again. She only took breaks to bathe, so as to prevent any further complications with Rin's frail condition. Otherwise, she would have considered it a waste precious time that could be spent tending to Rin. She ate only when Sesshomaru insisted she eat, and slept only when she could no longer hold her drooping eyelids open.

For a few days, Kagome, much like Sesshomaru, had believed Rin was recovering. The miko found the days the girl spent awake and coherent heartening, and continued to press on with her rapid paced care under the false assumption that she was truly helping Rin's recuperation. Listening to Rin's trivial conversations with the taiyoukai gave Kagome more hope than she could have dreamed possible. But, within a few days, hope was replaced by despondency as Rin lapsed back into delirium.

The second week, Kagome began to notice Sesshomaru growing stir crazy. At first he was unable to sit still, often tapping his foot or claws rhythmically against the tatami flooring. Soon he began to disappear for long periods of time quite often, and Kagome could not help but wonder if the Demon Lord was tired of being cooped up indoors for so long or if he was attempting to escape the reality of Rin's impending demise. She had wondered if he would ever be able to come to terms with the terrible thing that he was faced with.

Kagome was certain she, herself, would never be able to be at peace with the losses she had so carelessly caused, especially with another now staring her in the face. She would have to live out the rest of her life unable to forgive herself, but Rin's condition was not something Sesshomaru chose, and so he did not have himself to hold accountable the way Kagome did. Eventually his broken heart would mend itself, and, though he would always feel sorrow at Rin's passing, he would be okay. Kagome found a small amount of solace in the idea that Sesshomaru would ultimately recover.

She had found it strange that he had decided to dismiss Jaken while Rin's condition deteriorated so rapidly. Maybe he wanted to be alone in his time of mourning, but, if that were the case, why hadn't he sent her away as well? It was apparent that Rin was far beyond saving by this point, and though Kagome had continued to toil at the girl's bedside, it was clearly doing no good.

The third week, Sesshomaru had taken up a ceaseless post at the girl's bedside. It was at this point that Kagome informed the taiyoukai that there was no more she could do and left him to his privacy with his ward for the girl's remaining days. If Sesshomaru had heard her or noticed her absence, he did not say. In fact, he did not acknowledge her for the remainder of Rin's life.

During this time to herself, Kagome searched out a suitable burial site for the girl, settling on an open spot underneath a large cherry tree in the courtyard that was sure to be covered in fragrant blossoms come spring. It was now late October, and the days were becoming cooler as the summer slipped farther from reach. The evenings were becoming chilly, but not cold enough to freeze the earth beneath Kagome's feet, a fact for which the Miko was grateful as it would have made digging a grave much more difficult work than it already was.

After two days of near relentless digging, a task Kagome found incredibly taxing in her diminished condition, the Miko was satisfied with the work she had done. Then she set about find suitable burial clothes for the girl, exploring the ruins of Sesshomaru's childhood home with ponderings of his upbringing dancing in her mind's eye as she wandered. She would have been afraid that she would offend the taiyoukai, invading the sacred vestiges of a time long forgotten, had she not checked in on Rin on a nightly basis. Sesshomaru remained steadfast at her bedside, so still that the Miko wasn't sure he was even breathing.

Eventually Kagome's searching proved fruitful, and she stumbled upon a clothing tansu filled with beautiful kimonos made for a young girl. As she browsed the dusty patterned frocks, she found her mind wandering to the girl who had once owned these beautiful clothes. Did Sesshomaru have a sister? Did they belong to his mother during her youth? She couldn't imagine a servant possessing such beautiful clothing for her own child.

After leafing through the dozen or so kimonos in the tansu, she selected a snow white kimono decorated with pale pink cherry blossoms occurring infrequently across the garment in a diagonal pattern. She then selected brilliant crimson obi and gently shook the dust from the clothing before folding both items neatly. She fervently hoped the inuyoukai would approve of her selections.

It felt morbid and bizarre to Kagome to be so prepared for Rin's death that she was already planning for it. But she wasn't doing these things because she wished this fate upon the girl. She was doing them, because they were necessary, and, if she took care of the preparations, it was less that Sesshomaru would have to worry about. She so longed to ease his grief, if only because she could not ease her own.

x.X.x

The morning of Rin's death, Kagome found Sesshomaru sitting across the room from Rin's bed, staring, catatonic, at her lifeless body. His unblinking golden eyes did not flicker to the doorway when Kagome entered the room, nor did he offer any hint of Rin's demise. Kagome had to cross the room and to check on the girl to realize that her life had come to an end.

Steeling herself, Kagome swallowed back her tears and lifted the girl's fragile body on top of the burgundy bedcovers under which she had lain. Sesshomaru did not move to stop her. Kagome was no expert at preserving bodies or any sort of funerary procedure for that matter, so she figured it was best to attend to the matter quickly, before rigor mortis set in and it became too difficult to prepare the girl's remains for burial.

Hurriedly she left momentarily to obtain water and a cloth. Taking care as she peeled off Rin's signature orange and yellow kosode, she took her time cleaning what was left of Rin's spare frame to prepare her for burial. Then, covering the girl before she did so, Kagome left a second time to fetch the kimono she had found for this day, casting furtive glances at Sesshomaru as she left and reentered the room. He remained unmoved, his eyes still fixated on Rin's body.

Kagome shook out the folded kimono and smoothed it with her hand before dressing Rin gingerly, making sure she wrapped the snow white kimono right side over the left, one of the few traditions she remembered about dressing the dead for burial. Then she carefully tied the obi around the girl's waist, taking care to preserve Rin's dignity as she maneuvered the girl's body to access her back. It was a challenging and macabre duty, but it had to be done.

After Rin was dressed, Kagome moved to her bag, grabbing her hairbrush and a small makeup tote she always had stuffed in her backpack for no particular reason. She took care in brushing out the tangles in the girl's chestnut brown hair, and then attempted to add some muted color to Rin's pallid face. When she was satisfied with her work, Kagome moved to sit by Sesshomaru's side, giving him a sidelong glance. He appeared to be in shock.

Tenderly, Kagome took his large, clawed hand in her frail one and gave it a soft squeeze. She could hear the faint sound of his breath hitching in his throat, but he did not move to pull his hand from hers. She found herself fighting tears once more.

"I am very sorry for your loss," she whispered. Her voice sounded as though it were a million miles away to Sesshomaru, but the sincerity within it brought the taiyoukai crashing back to reality. "I have made preparations to lay her to rest, when you are ready."

She rose and left the room quietly after giving his hand one last squeeze. He found it strange that she had tended to Rin's body before offering her condolences and that she was now leaving him alone with his grief. Then a realization struck him. Somehow, Kagome knew he wished to grieve Rin alone. So, the miko had taken the time to prepare the girl's body so that he was not left grieving over the sick, wasted child her illness had left Rin, but the lovely young girl so full of life he would always remember fondly. She had brought color back into the girl's cheeks and brushed the knots out of the girl's hair, leaving her looking as though she were only just sleeping peacefully. Now she was giving him time to mourn his loss privately, and despite his immense sorrow, he felt a rush of gratitude toward the understanding Miko.


End file.
